The day of my father’s funeral, my “loyal” wife took my credit cards and flew her entire family to a 5-star resort in Bali, texting me: “Don’t be a killjoy, he’s already gone anyway.” I spent the week in silence. When they returned to the driveway, sunburnt and exhausted, they didn’t find a home—they found a demolition crew and a single suitcase waiting on the curb.

I didn’t stay to watch the Vance family completely unravel, though the sound of Cynthia hitting Miranda repeatedly with her own Chanel handbag, screaming about how they had nowhere to live and zero credit, was a pathetic, fitting soundtrack to my departure.