I never told my parents I was a federal judge after they abandoned me. Invited for a “reunion,” I arrived only to have them point to a freezing shed. “Take the old burden,” my father sneered. Inside the icy dark sat my grandpa, robbed of his home and savings. That was the final straw. I wrapped him in my coat, pulled out my badge, and made one decisive call: “Execute the arrest warrants.”

“He’s in the back,” Richard muttered. “We put him in the garden shed for the evening. It’s quiet there.”

The world seemed to tilt on its axis.

“The shed?” I whispered. “Richard, it’s twenty degrees outside.”

“He has a blanket!” Richard shouted defensively. “Stop being so dramatic! Go get him if you want him so bad. Just don’t drag any mud onto the Persian rugs.”