I came home excited after the reading of my grandmother’s will to tell my husband she had left me $7 million and her estate in Aspen. But my husband and mother-in-law were waiting on the porch with divorce papers. “The house is sold. You’re homeless now.” I smiled. “What’s so funny?” “Actually. The house you sold belonged to…”

“I mean it, Claire. I truly do.”

“I know you do.”

My calm, even response seemed to confuse and agitate him far more than if I had screamed obscenities at him. Because guilt feels somewhat manageable, almost justified, when the victim is screaming and raging. It provides the betrayer with an excuse to be defensive.