The minute my divorce was final, I canceled my ex-mother-in-law’s card. My ex called screaming: “Her card declined on a $50k Cartier necklace! You humiliated her!” I hung up. At 6 AM, I woke to a drill gnawing my deadbolt. “My wife is having a mental breakdown. Drill it!” my ex lied to a locksmith. And what he did next was even worse than I could expect.

The ink on my divorce decree was not even twenty-four hours old when my ex-husband called me, screaming.

He didn’t sound sad. He didn’t sound remorseful. He sounded like a man who had just watched his personal ATM burst into flames.

“What the hell did you do, Marissa?” Anthony shouted through my phone, his voice sharp enough to cut through the serene, morning quiet of my kitchen.