The minute my divorce was final, I canceled my ex-mother-in-law’s card. My ex called screaming: “Her card declined on a $50k Cartier necklace! You humiliated her!” I hung up. At 6 AM, I woke to a drill gnawing my deadbolt. “My wife is having a mental breakdown. Drill it!” my ex lied to a locksmith. And what he did next was even worse than I could expect.

Later that afternoon, after changing the locks and concluding a highly successful board meeting, I sat in the sleek, glass-walled office of my attorney, Lydia Chen. Lydia was a shark in a tailored suit, a woman who specialized in extracting wealthy clients from parasitic marriages.

“The restraining order is already filed,” Lydia said, sliding a thick manila folder across her mahogany desk. “But Marissa, when I started auditing the joint accounts to finalize the complete financial severance… I found something.”