That night in the ER, the surgeon snapped: “She’s bleeding out! She might die tonight!” My mother coldly replied: “Tomorrow. Her brother has a football game.” Seven days later, she brought flowers to Room 614. Through the closing elevator doors, I gave her a dead stare. She rushed into my empty room. The absolute boundary written at the bottom of my letter stripped them of everything…

It is a terrifying thing to realize that your life is slipping away, but it is an entirely different kind of horror to realize that no one is coming to catch you.

The bathroom floor of my Columbus apartment was freezing. It was a cheap, faux-marble linoleum that I had always hated, but in those endless hours, it became my entire world. I lay curled in a fetal position, my fingers clawing at the grout. A ruptured ovarian cyst, I would later learn. But in that moment, it just felt like a bomb had detonated inside my pelvis. The internal bleeding was rapid, flooding my abdomen, draining the heat from my limbs. My phone was on the kitchen counter. It might as well have been on the moon.
My vision narrowed to a pinpoint. I remember the distant, muffled sound of a neighbor’s dog barking. I remember the sharp crack of my forehead hitting the porcelain base of the toilet as I finally lost consciousness.