My husband called me a freeloader while I was cooking in my sweaty work blouse. He said that starting tomorrow, we would split everything 50/50. I didn’t cry. I just bought blue labels. And when his family arrived on Sunday with empty Tupperware, I slammed a folder on the table containing $16,000 in receipts.

Theresa pursed her lips. “Where’s the food?” “I didn’t cook.”

Silence. Bobby let out a laugh. “What do you mean you didn’t cook?” “I didn’t make food for guests.”

Her mother-in-law looked at Andrew as if Valerie had just insulted the Pope. “What is wrong with your wife?”