During my sister’s lavish Boston wedding, my father humiliated me before 300 guests, pouring a tray of red wine over my custom silk gown. “You’re a pathetic spinster!” my mother sneered as everyone laughed. I calmly wiped my face and made one call. Twenty minutes later, four men in black suits entered the ballroom. Then my husband appeared—and my family suddenly realized they had humiliated the wrong woman.

If you grow up as the designated failure in an affluent Boston Brahmin family, you learn very early on how to become invisible. You learn to read the temperature of a room the second you walk through the door. You learn exactly how to stand, how to breathe, and how to smile so that no one notices the thousand tiny paper cuts they inflict upon your spirit.