Three hours before my son’s wedding, I overheard his fiancée smearing industrial-strength glue on my sick wife’s chair. My own son was acting as the lookout by the door, laughing. I didn’t scream. I didn’t cancel the event. I just swapped the place cards… and waited for the bride to try and stand up in front of two hundred guests.

As we reached the grand exit doors, Arthur jogged up to catch me. “Brother, wait a second. You’re making a massive mistake.”

I stopped. “No, Arthur. The mistake was believing that blood doesn’t require a structural inspection.”

His face hardened into a scowl. “You don’t know everything.”