I buried my husband, and nobody knew that that very exact week, I purchased a ticket for a year-long cruise. When my son dumped three cages in my living room as though I were his personal maid, I knew my grieving period was over. My daughter-in-law didn’t even bother to say hello. She just shoved the cages onto my carpet and said, “Here are your instructions.” I just smiled. By dawn, when the ship set sail from San Diego, my absence was going to completely shatter their lives.

“Megan,” I said smoothly, “I left a special little folder for you, too. It’s tucked inside the hallway console drawer.”

Dead air. “What folder?”

“The one filled with printed screenshots of your text threads. The ones where you bragged that as soon as I ‘started slipping,’ you were going to shove me into a state-run nursing facility so you two could flip the property. Eleanor already filed copies.”