“Where are you? My kids are hungry, and the table still isn’t cleared!” my sister demanded on my birthday, as if cooking, cleaning, and caring for her children were automatically my responsibility.

The phone rang just as the waiter placed my birthday dinner in front of me.
I had spent the entire day promising myself that I would not check work email, solve anyone else’s crisis, or rush home because someone had decided my evening belonged to them.

I was twenty-nine, sitting alone in a quiet corner booth at one of my favorite restaurants in downtown Tucson, staring at the same meal I ordered every year on my birthday.