At my sister’s engagement party, I was eight months pregnant. My mother held up my BMW keys and announced: “OUR GIFT TO THE REAL BRIDE.” My sister’s fiancee laughed: “YOU CAN UBER TO YOUR CHECKUPS.”

A few guests gasped.

My mother tried to laugh. “This is all theatrics.”

Ethan reached into his coat and pulled out a slim folder. “No. Theatrics was announcing stolen property as a gift. This is consequence.”

He handed a page to my father.

Dad read it.