When my son was dying in an Alaskan blizzard, my mother called asking for $20,000 to “save” her Birkin bag. I begged her to repay the $150,000 she owed me so I could save him. She scoffed, “He’s just adopted—let him die. You can always get another.” She thought that was the end of it… until 2 a.m., when hotel security dragged them out into the freezing streets.

“What did you do?!” she screamed, sobbing hysterically. “Hotel security literally banged on our door at 2:00 AM! They dragged us out of our beds, threw our clothes into our suitcases, and marched us through the lobby in our pajamas! The French Count was in the lounge with his friends—he saw the whole thing! He laughed at us!”