At my sister’s nearly $300,000 wedding, my father suddenly spilled a glass of red wine across the front of my dress in front of almost 300 guests, then looked at me and said, “Somehow, you always manage to turn every family event into an awkward moment.”

As I passed the head table, my father placed the microphone down and picked up a glass of Cabernet.

He moved into my path.

“Did that upset you?”

“No.”

“Then smile.”

“I’d rather go outside for a moment, Arthur.”

He hated when I called him by his first name.